Individual Experience Theory: Defeating Approach Anxiety and Improve your Dating Success


As you may know from reading my Personal Development blog posts, i talk alot about how vital authentic 1st hand experience is in the real world ( as in the one you see in front of you right now) An example can be found here: New Theory for why every PUA is right

So an idea i came up with lately will give you a sure fire way to get rid of any remaining AA and simultaneously help you get rapid results with women. It is a theory and a frame of mind, i currently use it whenever possible and it is a great way to approach not just your interactions with new women, but with anyone you have just met. I highly recommend reading The Power of Now and Introducing NLP to help you out with this, they are also 2 of the 3 of my self named “Pillars of Life”

People in general will always related what they see in front of them to past experiences, its impossible not to in some respects. I remember when i was studying philosophy, in one class the lecturer began by saying to me “Whats that in front of you” ….I said “Its a chair”, he then replied with…..”How do you know its a chair”.

That one question spawned a massive debate, my reply to him was that i knew it was a chair because i had seen one before. But then he debates that i couldn’t have seen that exact chair before. Then we got onto the Theory of the Forms and all of Plato’s shiz. It was fun. Anyway the reason i pointed out this example is that as according to David Hume, a Scottish Philosopher; we have a presupposed harmony in our brain that lets us learn from experience which i agree with fully. If we have a memory of us falling down the stairs, then whenever we see stairs we will stay away from it. Its the reason why most people have phobia’s, they have a past memory that they are relating to the present moment.

This is all the same with our experience of women, if we have bad success in the past, then we will relate it to the present moment, so if we see a lovely young lady we want to approach, we wont because we will feel fear based on what happened last time. But in actual truth…..the person in front of us we have never seen before in our life!! Isn’t that a mad thought…..we fear things we had never seen until that moment. How can we fear something we would have no previous knowledge of? The horrible reality is that we relate everything we see to what we already know or have been brought up to believe, which is why we are judgemental of cultures, religions and politicians. Sometimes its for the best, if we see a big tiger coming towards us we know to run. Our brain chooses certain beliefs and rules based on our own experiences and what we have been told, in order to protect us and make sure we Survive. But it can be for the worst, in the past i have been given abuse and racial hatred by alot of people because i am Jewish. I met a girl once who i got on so well with, until when she asked me where i was from and i said my Dad was from Israel…she told me how her family had brought her up to despise and want to kill my kind; she was half Palestinian. That took me away….the thought that we can hate people we have never met, only because of what we have been brought up to believe.

But the solution is simple, anyone can conquer their past and have the ability to treat every new situation as brand new, its actually very simple.

A little bit of fact for you all; every single person living or dead is different in some way…FACT. No 2 people are identical, even twins. Why? Because they have all been exposed to different experiences through their life. Experiences create beliefs and values in our brain, they are what govern our life. So if this is factually true, then it is safe to assume that judging someone new we meet based on someone we had met like them before would be stupid. Its like saying any British person you meet drinks tea and eats crumpets! Its not just stupid to assume that but unresourceful.

For men and PUA’s trying to better their skills with women this is what you should do……TREAT EACH NEW PERSON YOU MEET AS AN INDIVIDUAL. By doing this you will actually communicate better with them because it forces you to interact and listen to what they are saying because you have never heard it before! Each moment will be brand new, each moment will be a new experience. This also will cure you of your Approach Anxiety, heres why…… If the rule the fact that every person is different is true, then that means you do not know what is going to come your way, it is unknown what will happen. So….how can you fear the unknown. If i was to hold up a piece of plain paper in front of you and say to you “FEAR THIS NOW”….would you be able to……no! Unless you were scared of the colour white, or paper!! You would not know what to do, try it. Get a piece of paper out look at it and say….”This is what i fear” Your brain will get confused.

What most people dont realise is that any book or material on how to communicate better, presupposes a definite reaction from the person you are communicating with, which is obviously impossible. However this “Individual Experience Theory” presupposes that you have never experienced this situation before, therefore have to interact fully with it to understand it. You will be forced to use all your senses to gain as much information from the person in front of you as you can. Your skills for communicating will go through the roof. You will start to create a new and powerful system of beliefs in your mind. You will be….a Super Human.

Try it out everyone and get back to me with your thoughts.


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